Fragt ein Engländer einen Deutschen

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Der fiktive Dialog, in dem US-Sicherheitsberaterin Condoleezza Rice ihren Chef über Chinas neuen Parteivorsitzenden Hu Jiantao informieren will.

George Bush: "Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?"

Condoleezza Rice: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."

Bush: "Great. Lay it on me."

Rice: "Hu is the new leader of China."

Bush: "That's what I want to know."

Rice: "That's what I'm telling you."

Bush: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"

Rice: "Yes."

Bush: "I mean the fellow's name."

Rice: "Hu."

Bush: "The guy in China."

Rice: "Hu."

Bush: "The new leader of China."

Rice: "Hu."

Bush: "The Chinaman!"

Rice: "Hu is leading China."

Bush: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"

Rice: "I'm telling you Hu is lea-ding China."

Bush: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?"

Rice: "That's the man's name."

Bush: "That's who's name?"

Rice: "Yes."

Bush: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?"

Rice: "Yes, Sir."

Bush: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East."

Rice: "That's correct."

Bush: "Then who is in China?"

Rice: "Yes, Sir."

Bush: "Yassir is in China?"

Rice: "No, Sir."

Bush: "Then who is?"

Rice: "Yes, Sir."

Bush: "Yassir?"

Rice: "No, Sir."

Bush: "Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone."

Rice: "Kofi?"

Bush: "No, thanks."

Rice: "You want Kofi?"

Bush: "No."

Rice: "You don't want Kofi."

Bush: "No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N."

Rice: "Yes, Sir."

Bush: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N."

Rice: "Kofi?"

Bush: "Milk! Will you please make the call?"

Rice: "And call who?"

Bush: "Who is the guy at the U.N?"

Rice: "Hu is the guy in China."

Bush: "Will you stay out of China!"

Rice: "Yes, Sir."

Bush: "And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N."

Rice: "Kofi."

Bush: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone."

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Rice: "Rice, here."

Bush: "Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East."