USA: Steuervergünstigungen für Kriegsbefürworter

     WASHINGTON, DC—Amid growing anti-war protests and polls indicating
     eroding public support for an invasion of Iraq, President Bush is offering
     U.S. taxpayers a rebate in the amount of $300 if we go to war.
     
       
       
         
         
       
         

Above: Bush entices war opponents            with a $300 tax rebate.

     "My proposed tax rebate will serve to stimulate the economy," said
     Bush, waving a sample check made out to John Q. Public at a White House
     press conference Monday. "Americans will get a generous infusion of cash
     that can be used however they choose—all in return for simply supporting a
     first strike against Iraq. Now, who wouldn't want an extra $300 in their
     pocket next month?"

     Under the Bush plan, single taxpayers would be eligible for a $300
     rebate, married filers $600, and heads of household $500. Attached to the
     proposal is a rider, penned by Bush himself, stating, "Plus, we also will
     invade Iraq right away, everyone promises."

     Pending passage of the bill, titled Economic Growth And Tax Relief
     Reconciliation Act Of 2003 And We Bomb Iraq (H.R. 1936), some 91.3
     million checks could be mailed as early as March 31.
     
"The plan is almost identical to the tax rebate offered in 2001," Bush
     said. "With the minor exception, of course, of the provision that
     Americans react favorably to the deployment of 210,000 troops to the
     Persian Gulf."
 
   "Which reminds me, have you seen these new iPods?" added Bush, pulling
     an Apple-brand MP3 player from his pocket and holding it up to the crowd.
     "It costs $299 for one of these little buggers, but it holds a thousand
     songs. They're amazing."
     Citizens are excited by the prospect of having a little extra spending
     money.

    "Things have been pretty tight lately, so this sure would come in
     handy," said Ray Kilty, 48, an Akron, OH, screen-door-factory worker. "I
     don't know much about what's going on with Iraq, but I do know
     what's going on with my truck. The brakes are set to go any day now."
     Bush has been pushing the rebate, part of his ambitious $1.4 trillion
     tax-cut agenda, in a series of TV commercials. One such ad, which made its
     debut last Tuesday during Fox's American Idol, features the slogan,
     "Free Iraq Of Hussein, Free Rent For A Month." Another upcoming spot asks
     the question, "War: What Is It Good For?" and answers, "$300, Is
What."

    In recent weeks, Bush has also met with key lawmakers in an effort to
     win their support.
     "I get the green light from the American people, and they get 300
     smackeroos," Bush told members of the Senate budget committee last Friday.
     "Any questions?"
 
   "I'll tell you what," Bush added. "Just because I'm feeling generous,
     I'll throw in another $20 per dependent if we invade by the end of next
     week."

    To ensure public support, the following will appear in fine print below
     the endorsement line on the back of each check: "By signing and cashing
     this check, the above is hereby indicating his or her consent to a U.S.
     invasion of Iraq, and will refrain from attending protest rallies or
     committing any other act that could reasonably be construed as an
     expression of disapproval of said war."
 
   "Americans need two things right now: economic relief and the
     elimination of the threat of terrorism." Bush said. "These rebates take
     care of both. I can't think of a better way to show the citizens of this
     nation that war truly pays."



Quelle: www.theonion.com


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